Music Is Not A Synonym For Worship

Music is not worship. We should get that straight from the start. Just because music is played in the context of a church service or a Christian event, it is not automatically the equivalent of worship. We should also be clear that when we talk about worship, we are not automatically talking about music. Music and worship are not synonyms when used in the Christian context. They are separate entities. Sometimes they overlap, but they do not automatically merge and they are not one in the same. Too often, though, we talk as if they are. We differentiate the “worship” time of our service by referring to music, as if the rest of the service is something else. But the reality is that everything we do during a Sunday morning “worship service” should be an act of worship - from our initial greetings, through the music and communion and the sermon to the closing prayer at the end. All should be acts of worship, whether we are participating from the stage or from the pew.

But none of those parts of the service are worship in and of themselves. I can shake someone’s hand without it being an act of worship, whether I am in a church setting or in a bar. I can turn that same handshake into worship regardless of where I am as well. I can go through the motions through all the parts of a church service and never worship. On any given week, it is entirely possible to worship outside the church building more than inside it. It is possible because worship is not dependent on the event, or the place or the person or persons I am participating with - worship is a matter of my heart. Worship depends only on me. It depends on my choice to ascribe worth to God, wherever I am and in whatever context I find myself. 

So, when the music begins on Sunday morning, it is not worship until I make it worship. We must be reminded of that. Worship is dependent on me and only me. No peripheral circumstances can dictate my worship without my permission. Likewise, my ability to worship is not dictated by emotion. Worship is not a feeling any more than love is a feeling. A warm fuzzy feeling does not mean deeper, more meaningful worship, just like a warm fuzzy feeling is not an accurate indicator of love. Creating a certain “mood” might help me focus and get me that special tingly feeling, but that, in itself, is not worship and it is not what dictates whether I worship or not. I’ve been to secular concerts and I have seen the same emotions exhibited there as I see in a Sunday service. The emotion is not the worship. The feeling is not the worship. The mood is not the worship. All those things might make it easier for me to focus on worship, which is good, and those things might come as a result of worship, but we must understand that worship does not automatically follow because those things are optimal. 

We must also understand that worship is not necessarily negated when those things are not optimal. If the music is not to our liking or the mood does not get us tingly or the music leader is not getting me all teary eyed, it should not negate my ability to worship. My ability to ascribe worth to God is not dependent on mood, or music style, or music quality, or passionate words from a minister. My ability to ascribe worth to God is only dependent on my ability to understand that the one and only true God is worthy of all praise and all glory regardless of the circumstances around me. Paul worshipped in prison. Early disciples worshipped after lashings. Stephen worshipped while being killed by pious people hurtling rocks at him. What does it say about us when we say we couldn’t worship on Sunday morning because of the music? Was the music worse than prison? Worse than a lashing? Worse than being stoned? Is it really possible for our brothers and sisters in Christ to share music, with the best of intentions to glorify God, that is so bad that it prevents us from being able to worship. I would say that is utter nonsense and it says more about our view of worship than it does about the music that is being played. It says much about our over-dependence on mood and emotion. It says that we have elevated music to be far more important than it really is. It says much about the disconnect between what we say is worship and what we live out as worship.

Blessings #111 to 136

111.  Friends around a fire on a cold night 

112.  Eating dinner with the Deer Park Community

113.  Meeting new people grateful for the Community Thanksgiving Dinner

114.  So many happy volunteers for the Community Thanksgiving Dinner

115.  A horse for my daughter and an awesome riding companion

116.  Being able to let go of an offense

117.  The example of humility and compassion from someone who has “made it”

119.  Colleagues that make me laugh

120.  Compliments from parents of students at conferences

121.  Compliments from parents of former students

122.  Students owning mistakes and wanting to do better

123.  A student who is sad that they are not in my class

124.  A growing passion for missions in my fellow elders

125.  An extra day off

126.  A road trip with the family

127.  Colby and Calli wrestling and laughing in the back seat of the car like they were little kids again

128.  Colby and Calli wanting to be together

129.  Sandy’s sense of humor and ability to laugh at herself

130.  A walk in the woods

131.  Ivar’s clam chowder while waiting for the ferry

132.  Chex mix

133.  A sister and brother-in-law who loves my family

134.  Thanksgiving dinner with family

135.  Crazy cousins for my kids to laugh at and with

136.  Pumpkin Pecan Pie

Blessings #96 to 110

96.  A community that rallies for our own that are hurting from tragedy

97.  Prayer at a staff meeting

98.  A brother being encouraged by my presence

99.  A long talk with my boss

100.  A wife and daughter who look out for me when I am sick

101.  Recovery from illness

102.  The chance to work on a special community service project with a colleague

103.  Being able to see the sunrise and the sunset in the same day

104.  Good conversations with kids in the youth group

105.  A youth group leader willing to give me a gentle push

106.  The opportunity to work with Generation Alive in my school

107.  Having a son who is maturing in his faith and knowing that he is light-years ahead of where I was when I was 19!

108.  Watching and listening to Colby teach

109.  Seeing youth group kids respond to Colby as a leader

110.  Colby’s eagerness to serve, to teach, to lead, and passion to make a difference in the lives of others

The father of a righteous child has great joy;

     a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him.

               -- Proverbs 23:24

Blessings #81 to 95

81.  A plumbing project that was easy!

82.  An opportunity to promote Ninos de Mexico

83.  Finished projects at the wire!

84.  Help from Calli and Sandy on my projects.

85.  The first snow, even when it is just a little and quickly melts away

86.  The chance to discuss Communion with the Foundations class

87.  Awesome, creative encouragement (a jar of pencils as a reminder of #80!)

88.  The ability to throw a bale of hay - even if it is not as easy as it used to be

89.  A cookie from a student  

90.  Grades done with a few hours to spare

91.  Being able to call for a sub when needed

92.  Understanding friends and colleagues during a difficult week

93.  Heartache softened by great memories

94.  Possibilities

95.  Having multiple colleagues who feel comfortable coming in to my room to talk (and sometimes pray) before school starts and after the school day has ended. I am realizing more and more that those conversations are more important than the false notion that it is more essential to be “productive” every moment

The Pencil (Blessing #80)

Sometimes as a middle school math teacher I cling to things for encouragement that others think are strange. Sometimes you cling to whatever you can find, because too often there just isn’t much to be had.

The other evening a former student saw me at Zips and made a point to wave from outside the window. When she came inside she greeted me with great enthusiasm and asked if I remembered her. I had to admit she looked familiar, but I couldn’t place her name. When she said it, though, I remembered. I remembered some troubled times. I remembered she moved from a remedial class to my class against her will. At first she fought the change, but over time I was able to win her over and we got along great. It was a victory of sorts for both of us. She discovered she was capable of more than she thought and I found great worth in every small success that she had. 

And then she moved.

She didn’t want to move. She emailed me and messaged me on Facebook. And after a year had past, I didn’t hear from her anymore. Now, three years after her move, she was standing in Zips.

It is hard for me to know what to do in those situations. Inside I was happy to see her and happy for her, because I know she is back where she wants to be. But as a male teacher to a female student, there is only so much you can express and everything feels awkward. I talked to her a little and let her know it was good to see her, although she probably didn’t get much of a sense for just how happy I was. She talked a little about being in my class and how much she liked it and remembered it. And then she ended with, “I still have the pencil you gave me!” 

To my friends who were with me and even to my wife, it sounded like an odd thing to say. In fact one of my friends even said, “that is kind of weird,” but to me it was awesome! I don’t give away pencils frequently and I honestly don’t know why I gave this student a pencil when she was in my class, but it was probably because she didn’t have one and I knew that getting one from her parents was way more difficult than it ever should be. So I gave her a pencil as a very small gesture of compassion... and she still has it! 

For me, and I hope for her, it was more than a pencil. The fact that she kept the pencil meant that something happened in my class that she cared about and she didn’t want to forget. It wasn’t about the pencil, it was about something far more important. To me it wasn’t weird at all, it was an incredible encouragement during a time in my career when I need every morsel of encouragement I can scrounge to keep me from quitting.

You see, my goal in teaching is the same today as it has always been - to have a positive influence on those I teach, to be a role model of integrity and honesty and to let kids know that there are some of us that care about them, no matter what baggage they might bring with them. Oh, and I try to teach some math along the way, too! Those are not popular goals in education today (except for the teaching math thing), unless there is a test score attached to it and printable data to show improvement before and after. No one in education would ever explicitly tell me my goals are wrong, but everything we do, every training we have, every discussion about improvement, every goal we set, every strategy we are told to employ, communicates to me (from the educational elite) that old fashioned ideas like being a role model and building positive relationships, are relatively unimportant. The essence of why I teach is discounted, by persistent action and mandates every day.

So every day I question my motives and I question my goals. I wonder if I am right to fight the system for the sake of something that so many are indifferent about. At times I wonder if I am just an old, delusional fool. There are so many days when I can’t tell if I even met my own goal and there are some days when I am sure I haven’t. When enough of those days run together the depression start to set in and I feel like giving up. I begin to wonder if maybe the suits that dictate my hoops to jump through, are right. 

But then someone talks about a pencil I gave them three years ago...  

It might sound absurd to some, but something as silly as that pencil reminds me that there is more to teaching than test scores, more than forms with the right boxes checked off and more than mind-numbing meetings about that latest educational lingo spelled out in a clever acronym. That pencil tells me I am right - that positive relationships still matter. That pencil tells me I can still make a difference, in the way I have always believed I should. To some it is only a pencil, but to me it is reason for hope. And that encounter that seemed so strange to my friend, will help me get up for another day.

Blessings #64 to 79

64.  Watching wildlife from our deck

65.  A wife who understands me and encourages me when I’m down

66.  Any time spent with Sandy, even if it is only a Winco shopping trip

67.  Ron’s persistence with Monday morning prayer

68.  Being sought out and asked to prayer for a specific request. Sometimes I don’t realize what an honor that really is.

69.  Students praying in my classroom before school

70.  Unexpected students showing up to pray!

71.  Unexpected students showing up to youth group!

71.  A positive, productive parent meeting

73.  Positive contacts with kids outside of school

74.  Seeing kids passionate about helping others in need

75.  Former students who are happy when they see me outside of school and share fun memories of being in my class

76.  Not fearing that students know where I live

77.  Smoke that’s only smoke and not a fire in the middle of the school day

78.  A sympathetic colleague who will listen to me vent after a frustrating day

79.  A weekend with an extra hour of sleep

Blessings #45 to 63

45.  Coming back to my classroom following an after school meeting to see messages on my board from some favorite former students.

46.  Hearing teenagers speak thoughtfully about their faith

47.  Students willing to accept a challenge

48.  A student willing to stay after school to get help and being thankful for it

49.  Students being thankful for a second chance

50.  Being able to help a colleague

51.  Sunny days for bus duty

52.  A wife who likes the Seahawks

53.  A gorgeous fall day and a hike with the family

54.  Having kids who are still willing to hang out with their parents for the day

55.  A day without any obligations!

56.  Dinner and a pink sunset

57.  The gift of creativity and the chance to use it

58.  A dog who thinks I’m the greatest

59.  Friends from my past who respond as friends of my present

60.  Fasting as a choice

61.  A hunger pain as a reminder to pray

62.  Fall colors

63.  Sweatshirt weather

#44

Some blessings require a little more explanation…

Shortly after my last class of the day began, I had to remove a student from my class for making a vulgar comment. Without going into detail, the episode was swift and harsh, but it resulted in an incredibly quiet, well-mannered group of students that remained! We finished our lesson and the students began working on the day’s assignment. While working, I frequently engage students in random conversations, usually short, but hopefully enough to build a relationship and trust and let them know that I am interested in more than just their math abilities. This time the students began turning the conversation and started asking me questions.They discovered that I flunked a math class in college then dropped out of college (but went back) and that I wasn’t really a math major (my Bachelor’s degree is in Natural Science). The questions eventually led to, “do you ever want to quit teaching to do something else.”

There is some sort of code or teaching ethic somewhere that says I am not allowed to discuss my faith, but I am allowed to talk about my faith if it is in response to a student’s question. So I responded by saying that the only thing I would do besides teaching is to work for a missions organization that was helping the poor somewhere in the world and I had a chance to say why. I then told them about my trips to Ninos de Mexico and how much I would love to go back for longer, maybe even teach in the school there. We talked about poverty in other parts of the world and how fortunate they are to be able to go to school. And they shared their own experiences and experiences of family members who had gone on short-term mission trips. I don’t even remember everything we talked about, but it was one of those moments where everyone was engaged without the typical, middle school goofiness that often infects conversations like these. Their listening was genuine as were their contributions to the conversation. Once it got rolling, I had a hard time keeping up, but I was loving every minute. It was one of those moments that I live for as a teacher - the kind I pray and long for.

Blessing #43?

There are moments when I still find it difficult to find blessings. There are times when my heart is broken and I struggle to find a sliver of good. I see the ugliness of the human condition - the willingness to sacrifice others, even our own children, for no visible good other than selfish desires. There are times in my job when the hardness of the human heart is laid bare for me to see and I feel powerless to soften it. Today I prayed as I listened to a parent, because it was the only thing that I could do. But even within that I struggled to find peace. My heart ached while I listened - it still does - and when I walked away I found no blessing.

I often think, in those situations, that it is just my lack of understanding; my inability to look at the things through God’s eyes. But maybe there are times when we are not supposed to find blessings. Maybe there are simply times when our hearts need to be broken. Maybe, sometimes, a broken heart, is more of a sign that God is alive in us, than it is to forcibly finding a blessing Maybe the real blessing is that my heart is not so hardened that it can’t be broken. Maybe that means I am seeing things from God’s perspective after-all.

Blessings #36 to 42

Despite a miserable weekend (financially) with Gifts of Hope Fair Trade, there were some blessings and reasons to celebrate!

36.  Time spent with Sandy!

37.  Talking to a lady about her passion for the Maasai of Kenya and her desire to help send their children to school by selling their crafts.

38.  Time talking with friends who we don’t get to talk to often, but showed up at the show right at the end.

39.  The chance to explain fair trade to those who were unfamiliar with it.

40.  An excuse to buy a tasty slice of sour cream apple pie from the bake sale (only $1!)

41.  An unexpected contact for another show and the fact that they chose us specifically to come to their home!

42.  The opportunity and challenge to do what we are doing, better!