Wearing Others' Shoes

I was working in the yard the other day when I heard some loud shrieks and sounds of panic coming form the neighbors. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but it seemed to involve a child flailing and screaming after encountering some yellowjackets. I looked and saw the child desperately trying to escape while the parents were trying their best to stay calm and reassure the terrorized child. My initial reaction was to wonder why there was such a commotion, but I had a flashback to similar instances in my own family. I have vivd memories of my own child reacting with the same irrational fear and being frustrated at my inability to quiet the momentary trama. I like logical, rational explanations, but I learned (and relearned often) that a child's fear is impervious to sound reasoning, as well as to all the great parenting that might have come before.

To my own shame I must admit that I am often quick to judge. Had the situation been a bit different I might have wondered to myself why my neighbors didn't do a better job of controlling their child and internally I might have gotten a bit grumpy that my beautiful morning in the yard had been interrupted by such a outburst. But having shared their experience, my annoyance was tempered. Instead of judgement, I immediately felt a bit of compassion (not one of my spiritual gifts), because I understood. The parents actually handled everything quite well and order was restored relatively quickly, probably better than I ever did with my own child. I was reminded, though, how easily I tend to rush to condemn others when I don't understand their situation. My most brutal judgements are most often filled with ignorance and my greatest mercy comes from common understanding.

I can't experience everything that everyone else experiences. As helpful as it would be, I can't "walk a mile" in everyone else's shoes. But I was reminded that I can be slower to judge and quicker to seek clarification and understanding. I can assume the best before believing the worst. It is how I want everyone else to treat me, after-all. There are occasions when I need someone to be brutally honest with me, maybe even tell me when I am doing something wrong, but more often I need someone to be considerate and empathetic. More often I hope to find someone who sees my struggles and failings through a similar lens and common experience. If that is what I want from others, than I should expect it from myself as well.