My Little Girl

If you are a father of a daughter, I think you will understand…

This is my daughter Calli. In case you didn’t notice, she is adorable! She always has been, and she always will be. I know she is a little older now, but in my mind, no matter how old she is, she will always look like this. She is eternally my little girl. She promised that she would be, and I am holding her to it for as long as I live.

This last year Calli turned 21 and, as much as I wanted to fight it, I realized my little girl was growing up right in front of me. In just a few short days, this adorable toddler will be headed across the ocean to finish her undergraduate career by studying in Spain for a semester, followed by yet another adventure with her brother before she comes back to Spokane. She’s not so little anymore.

Calli jokes about becoming a “strong, independent woman.” When she says it, we laugh, but inside I grimace just a little. The truth is sometimes a little painful, just as much as it is funny. I want desperately to hold on to those moments when I was her protector, her hero and her place of refuge, but I know that I am not that anymore, at least not in the same way that I used to be. She jokes about jumping from the top of the stairs into my arms, like she used to when I got home from work, but of course if she did, we would both be seriously injured. I can still meet her at the bottom and hold her in my arms though, and, even if she doesn’t understand it, it’s as if I caught her like before. Every hug is a catch as far as I am concerned, and I will catch her as many times as I am able. But inside I know, she really is becoming strong and independent. She is venturing out, using the gifts and talents that God has given her, and doing things that I never imagined she would do. She has dreams and goals, and she has the determination, courage, strength, perseverance, heart, sense of humor and stubbornness to see them through.

I am incredibly proud of her. I am incredibly proud to be her dad. I would like to believe that I did some things right, but I also acknowledge that she has overcome some of the things that I have done wrong. We are both the product of immense amounts of God’s grace. And that is what I cling to – that God will continue to pour out his grace. As much as I want to hold onto my little girl, I must understand that she has never really been mine. She is a blessing on loan from God, a treasure that he has entrusted to me for a time. In my heart she will always be my little girl, and I would go to the ends of the earth and lay down my life for her, but, ultimately, she belongs to God. That is one of the greatest and hardest truths a parent must face. I pray that I can accept that truth with grace and strength, and I pray that God will continue to bless me through my little girl, as she continue to grow into a strong, independent, woman of God.