The Perfectness of Bad Timing

I was at a Christmas Eve service last night, where the pastor referred to Galatians 4:4-5 as "the Christmas story." I had never heard a passage outside of the gospels talked about as the Christmas story before, but as I read the verses, it made perfect sense. Granted, there are not the same details and elaboration as there are in the gospels, but the basic elements of the story are there - God sending his Son to earth to be born as a human, for the purpose of rescuing man. That really is the Christmas story! 

Blessings #561-586

561. Safety coming home from Seattle on treacherous roads
562. Books that make me think
563. Being able to take a sick day without losing pay
564. A para-educator working in my classroom who has a tremendous heart for our students
565. Alex's generosity helping Colby

What Goes Unsaid in Education Reform - Part 1

She was there after school again, just hanging out and talking. She visited a couple of other teachers, but my room was one that she invariably came into after school. She didn't stay every day, but she stayed after school frequently, just to talk or kill time. After several weeks I finally joked with her about how much she must like school, since she stayed there for so long after the school day was over. Then I asked, "why don't you go home?" It was an ignorant question and I had been teaching long enough to know better than to ask such a question so flippantly, but I did.

"Why would I want to go home?" she answered. "My grandma is probably drunk and my grandpa is probably in the garage getting high."

Blessings #534 to #560

534.  Eager babysitters for Beka
535.  A parent's "thank you" for a phone call and for making a difference in their child's life
536.  Students coming after school for help with math and having fun
537.  Fun conversations with my students
538.  Exceeding expectations at the Gifts of Hope Open House

Obedient Faith

This is a much longer post than normal, but I thought I would post the transcript for today's sermon, in case anyone might be interested.

Awhile back I was enjoying one of my favorite hobbies - looking at books on a popular book seller's website - and I came across a book by John Piper titled, "What Jesus Demands from the World." The title caught my attention, so I started to read some of the reviews. Not surprisingly, some of them were not so positive - John Piper seems to have that affect on some people, sometimes even me. So I skipped to the one star ratings, because I was curious what people found wrong with this book. What I read was a little startling. Some of the criticism was based solely on the premise of the title. Some reviewers were incensed with the idea that Jesus made demands on us, insisting that Piper was promoting a "works" based theology and ignoring salvation by grace. One writer insisted that Jesus makes no demands on any of us and to teach that he does is wrong. After-all, Jesus is all about love and mercy and grace, not about expectations, or works.

An Awesome Gift

It has been a dry couple of months. It has been a time where problems seems to multiply and one problem leads to another before the first has been solved. For that matter, some problems seem to have no good solution with no end in sight. It has been a time where I have felt inept and ineffective as a church leader and as an educator. I have felt unappreciated, and often like I am in the way, like I have been more a bother or hindrance, than a help.

It has been a great time to beat up on myself and feel sorry for myself. A great time to hang my head and mope. I have daily thoughts of wanting to quit (a variety of things and almost everything), or to at least make minimal efforts in the things that I do. I have wondered what those I am suppose to be mentoring and leading and teaching could possibly be gaining from their relationship with me. I have wondered why they would want to continue meeting with me. I have wondered how much damage I have done.

Blessings #491 to 520 - I Love My Family!

I am halfway through this experiment of counting blessings - or at least trying to acknowledge more blessings in my life - and the constant is always family. If nothing else, I am constantly reminded how blessed I am to have such an incredible family around me who love me despite my many faults, who don’t mind spending time with me, who love God and are seeking to grow in their faith. I have no idea why God has chosen to bless me in such an amazing way, but I am so grateful that he did. I can’t imagine three people being any more important to me than Sandy, Colby and Calli and I can’ imagine there ever being any others that I would want to spend so much time with. I am so proud of them and so blessed to be the husband and father of this family. If that were not enough, God has given me even more blessings, beyond them! I am a very blessed man!

Blessing #463 to 490 - Time with Family is the Best!

463. Reading Claire’s “gifts” and being included in them

464. A wife who is so easy to live with, so easy to love, quick to forgive, quick to laugh, who listens to my grumbling without complaint, who keeps my life organized and frees me to be more involved than I should be. Not everyone has a spouse who makes life easier and better and few can say that marriage has been relatively, with fewer arguments than years of marriage, but I can and I am grateful. I don’t say it nearly enough, but Sandy is an incredible blessing in my life and she should be at least 500 of my 1000 blessings.

465. Leadership challenges, even when they are hurtful - they force me evaluate and re-evaluate what is important to me and reminds me of my own imperfections and weakness.

466. Frontline - a great pick-me-up after a couple of difficult days

467. The anticipation of possibilities - TheCommon.org

Submission

We throw around a lot of words and concepts in our Christian language that supposedly have significant meaning, unfortunately, they seldom carry much weight in the reality of how we live our lives. In the midst of a song with a chorus that moves our emotions, we sing passionately about many things that we seem to fully believe, but when the music stops, so does our passion. Or we track along with a sermon that tugs at our heart and we fully embrace the difficult things of faith, until we meet face to face with the difficult things of faith, and suddenly our embrace is more like a fleeting touch.

Filters

We all use filters. Filters do wonderful things. I am always grateful that my last gulp of coffee in the morning is free from the nasty crumbs of coffee grounds, thanks to a simple paper filter. I am grateful for the filters that keep my car running, that keep lint out of my clothes and keep the air from our heating systems cleaner. 

All filters have two basic functions - to let the stuff we want pass through and to stop the stuff that we don’t want. Photographers use filters as well. Often their filters help the camera see things the same way our eyes see them. In that way the filter actually enhances reality, allowing us to see things the way they truly are rather than blindingly bright or tainted by certain colors. But photographic filters can also distort reality, to present it in a way that they artist wants it portrayed. The filters still function in the same two ways - allowing what the photographer wants to come through, but keeping out the light that is undesired - but that doesn’t always mean they make the final product more realistic, sometimes they are purposely unrealistic. Filters are used to create desired effects, not always to enhance reality.

Blessings #436 to 462

436.  Pictures of Colby and Calli flourishing at Niños de Mexico and hearing stories of how their love for one another was expressed during the trip

437.  Welcoming Calli home from Ninos de Mexico and listening to her, “I’m so tired...” turn into non-stop talking about the trip for more than two hours!

438.  Tears of sadness/tears of joy

439.  New children to sponsor - Brenda, Francisco, and Victor

440.  Two days with longtime friends - making up for too much time apart

Blessings #401 to 435

401.  The chance to watch Calli compete at the state track meet and get another PR - 9 feet!

402.  An unexpected road trip with Sandy

403.  Finding a tasty “hole-in-the-wall” place for lunch in an unfamiliar town

404.  Excitement from colleagues, friends and family for Calli’s accomplishments

405.  Being able to Skype with Colby while he is in Mexico

Another Top 40 Seattle Trip - Blessings #387 to 400

Every year another 8th Grade Seattle trip serves up many blessings and reminds me why I do what I do - teach. This year was no different. It actually starts before the trip itself, even at the beginning of the year when I hear from students that one of their goals for the year is to make the cut for the trip (blessing #387). It is even better when I see it motivate them in their work in class (#388) and better still when I hear from parents that they are seeing the effort at home as well (#389). As the trip draws near, the anticipation of the students and their excitement to receive their invitation can be felt. One of the greatest moments is delivering the invitation (#390), especially to some who thought they might not make it (Parker and Ben #391). 

Blessings #364 to 386

364.  A visit from the in-laws

365.  A silent auction fund raiser of the Niños team that far exceeded expectations, not just monetarily, but in people getting into the spirit of the event

366.  Grandma & Calli’s pies

367.  Calli overcoming 8’... and 8’7”!

368.  Finding little victories, however small, in the drudgery of the day

369.  Colleagues who actually don’t mind hearing my opinions or listening to my rants

370.  Helping at track meets - watching current students and bumping into former students

371.  Waking up with a migraine and realizing that it has been more than a month since my last one!

372.  Having learned to cope with migraines when they come

373.  Compact, foldable reading glasses

374.  Having colleagues to laugh with while working at the track meet

375.  Anytime a former students foes out of their way to say “hi” - it can change a bad day to a good day in a heartbeat

376.  Being asked for counsel and/or an opinion on significant matters

377.  A freshly mowed lawn

378.  A few minutes to sit and relax on the deck in the sunshine

379.  The opportunity to preach and to convict myself

380.  Seeing possibilities and having a shared vision with Sandy for how they might be realized

381.  A walk in Riverfront park on a beautiful evening

382.  A fun round of golf

383.  A weekend building a friendship 

384.  The excitement of others for the incredible kids that I am blessed to be a father to

385.  Praying for my son, as an elder, with the whole church family, sending him off to Mexico

386.  Looking forward to being a “great uncle” (and hopefully be great at being an uncle!)

Blessings #333 to 363

333.  Parent conferences where I can brag about the student to the parent

334.  Productive staff meetings 

335.  An unintentional kick in the rear from a respected fellow teacher

336.  Good conversations with colleagues about things other than work

337.  Compliments from parents about my class and my teaching

338.  Being able to give worthwhile advice

339.  A potentially bumpy situation made smooth and learning a little about compassion in the process

340.  Being back in touch with a high school classmate and hearing how God is at work in her life

341.  Dinner made by Kyle

342.  Receiving feedback that what I am doing makes a difference

343.  A productive day working in the yard - a yard to work in and the time and health to do the work

344.  Sunny spring skies

345.  Walking Beka with Sandy

346.  Running errands with Sandy

347.  Relaxing morning coffee with Sandy

348.  Any time and every moment I get to spend with Sandy

349.  A rare lazy day

350.  Sunday lunch with the family

351.  The beginnings of a garden

352.  A perfectly timed Spring Break that helps me return to work with a better attitude

353.  Finding the last two and a half clock hours I need to renew my credential

354.  Watching the Niños group grow into a team and having the opportunity to be a part of the process

355.  Getting a ride home from work from my daughter

356.  Iggy the Iguana - another connection to a student who will be graduating this year

357.  Appreciated contributions in a committee

358.  Having my Algebra class sing “Happy Birthday” to my mom

359.  Watching Calli “PR” at a track meet and having the rain hold off long enough so she could

360.  People who want to find creative ways to help the Niños short term mission team 

361.  Grading papers on the deck - if I have to do work at home, it is nice to be able to do it outside in the sunshine!

362.  Switchfoot

363.  An Easter meal with a group of Whitworth students not able to go home for the weekend

Blessings #309 to 332

309.  Watching Calli mature and grow in confidence in diverse ways

310.  An encouraging result for Calli at DECA state competition

311.  Fellow Elders who tolerate my rants

312.  A new computer at work after an 8-month wait

313.  Waves and “hello’s” shouted from cars as I monitor the crosswalks after school

314.  Healing

315.  The ability to still play basketball, albeit much slower and in much shorter spurts than I used to

316.  Being able to interact with my students through sports and just have fun with them outside of the classroom

317.  Shared commiseration - it is better than feeling alone in your frustrations 

318.  The winter thaw and signs of spring

319.  Reading a scripture passage for the umpteenth time and still finding fresh meaning and application

320.  Hearing others’ insight on scripture that bring out meaning I didn’t see on my own

321.  Encouragement in the desert

322.  A wife who understands me, loves me anyway

323.  Hearing a song that expresses what I am feeling in a way that I never could

324.  A dog that whose excitement is off the charts when family gets home

325.  A letter from Ninos de Mexico letting us know that the child we have supported for 10 years is now moving out on her own!

326.  The opportunity to begin supporting another child (or more) at Ninos de Mexico

327.  The anticipation of the much needed Spring Break

328.  Planning with my brothers

329.  A generous brother-in-law willing to do us a great favor even in the midst of his crazy, busiest time of year

330.  A larger than expected grant award for the annual 8th Grade Seattle Trip

331.  A free day to wander and explore

332.  A visit from an adopted son

That Data Point is a Living, Breathing, Student

In the chaos of my workday, amidst the constant bombardment and demands by others who cater to the propaganda of the intellectual and economic elite, in an attempt to dictate who I am as a teacher, I often forget what I believe about education and teaching - what is, and what it is not.

Education is not about statistics, data and assessment results. It is not for sorting out rankings and categorizing levels. It is not about numbers on a spreadsheet or points on a graph. Education is not about increasing certain numbers in a report while  diminishing others. It is not a resumé enhancer for those who seek to control the system. Education is not a factory for churning out consumables for the business world. It is not a race to the top or a race to not be left behind - it is not a competition at all. It is not the cure for our insatiable desire to dominate the global economy and it is not the magic elixir that will that will convince the world of their need for our supremacy.

Students are not pieces in a puzzle or pawns to be manipulated. They are not portfolio case studies for doctoral candidates. They are not products. They are not economic indicators. Students are not the property of corporations. They are not the property of our government. They are not the hope of redemption for our past failures and the rectification for the mistakes of over zealous politicians. 

Students are human beings with needs and wants. They come to school with problems, with dreams, with hope, with fear, with distractions, with baggage and with feelings and emotions. Students need an education system that asks them to learn, not to race. A system that treats them as individuals, not a collection of evidence. The education system should be attending to real needs - physical and emotional - and encouraging dreams, not dictating global conformity. The education system should nurture students to be respectful, honorable, responsible adults who use knowledge to be better people, not just better wage earners. The education system should respect their individuality, encourage them in their strengths, support them in their weaknesses and inspire them in their interests rather than mandate what each of those should be.

Teachers should be role models, not statisticians or masters of acronyms. Teachers should convey knowledge and stimulate learning about all of life, not just those standardized indicators of knowledge created by committees of self-absorbed PhD’s, greedy millionaires and power-hungry politicians measured to be performed on a test. Teachers should demonstrate responsibility, respect, mercy, compassion - humanness - not just knowledge. Teachers should be consumed with knowing their students, not fearful of building relationships and fleeing from contact outside of the classroom. Teachers should be open books, whose lives demonstrate, in the classroom and out, what it means to be a responsible adult. 

Education is not just about knowledge. Education is about being human, learning to live with other humans in the best way possible. Education is about becoming a better person - about growing, maturing, learning in all aspects of life. It seems we have been blinded by economic greed and a lust for power and our education system is the main victim in our reckless reformation driven by our blindness. 

I pray that common sense may capture our imaginations and lead us to humanness in education before too many accept the lie that the future success of the education of our children depends on our ability to can be measure, record, plot and manipulate numbers in spreadsheets, data bases, graphs and research papers.

Blessings #284 to 308

284.  Saturday mornings with a purpose.

285.  Sympathy from my family when I am sick

286.  A wife who patiently listens to my rants.

287.  A principal that knows Algebra and wants to fill in when I am sick.

288.  Hearing “Hi Mr. Wayenberg!” at the store

289.  Hopes and dreams of things to come

290.  Others, that I am supposed to be helping, are already a step ahead of me

291.  Being able to help a neighbor with homework and having it turn into a two hour conversation about life

292.  Feeling healthy after being sick - a reminder of the blessing of good health

293.  A dog that makes me laugh

294.  Only 24 hours in a day

295.  Switchfoot tickets

296.  A student wanting to stay after school to get help and get caught up

297.  Students proud of making a conscious change in effort and and attitude to do better in school

298.  Being able to have positive conversations with kids who often struggle finding anything positive about being at school

299.  Hearing that a trip to Niños made a difference in someone’s faith - my son’s!

300.  Having a wife who is so like-minded

301.  Not getting everything done that I thought I should have gotten done, then realizing that it is okay - its not the end of the world

302.  Having a wife that makes marriage a joy, not work

303.  A daughter who recovers quickly from disappointment and doesn’t hold a grudge against her very conservative parents

305.  Games with adults half our age

306.  Encouragement about my preaching

307.  Making it 50 years without needing glasses

308.  Conversations at the grocery store

Some Thoughts on Prayer

What do we mean when we say, “God answered our prayers” and what do we mean when we say that he hasn’t? Are there really prayers that God doesn’t answer?

The old cliché is that God has three answers for our prayers, “yes,” “no,” and “wait.” This implies that God always answers prayers, but the answers take on a variety of forms. Sometimes those answers are not exactly what we hope for, but they are answers, nonetheless. Do we really believe this to be true? If we don’t, why do we continue to repeat it? If we do believe it why would we ever talk about God not answering prayers? 

The reality is that when we talk about God “answering our prayers” we most often mean that God answered our prayers the way that we wanted him to answer. You never hear someone go in front of the church and say, “God answered my prayer - he said ‘no.’ You don’t hear many people share with others that, “God answered my prayer by saying, ‘I need to wait.’ We do not celebrate “no” and “wait” answers to prayer, we only celebrate “yes” answers. Since our language often implies that God either answers or doesn’t, everything other than “yes” means he didn’t answer. So, when we talk about answered prayers we usually mean “I got what I wanted.” When we don’t get what we want, we start looking for reasons why God didn’t answer. But it is not so much that God didn’t answer our prayer, its just that he didn’t give us the answer we wanted and we want to know why. 

Assuming that something is wrong when we don’t get the answer that we want, oversimplifies prayer and how we expect God to respond to us. When pressed to explain to a new believer what prayer is, we will often say that it is merely talking to God. But in our actions and in the rest of our talk about prayer, the implication is that prayer is just a continuous string of requests that we hope God will fulfill. Our prayers should be much more than that, though - praises, laments, meditation, listening; those kinds of prayers don’t really need “answers” they just need someone else to be part of the exchange. Prayers really should be conversations with God. 

When we talk about “answered prayers,” then, we imply two things; that prayers are nothing more than requests and that sometimes God chooses to ignore our requests and not give us an answer. I don’t believe that either of those are correct implications, yet we continually perpetuate those ideas with the “Christian” language that we use. 

If God sometimes ignores our requests, does that mean that God sometimes ignores my other prayers as well? Am I sometimes praying to empty space because God has decided that I am not worthy of his attention? Is that what we mean by “unanswered prayer?” I would hope not. I think most Christians, if pressed on the issue, would agree that God always listens, but may not always take action, at least not in the way we hope for. So does that constitute “unanswered prayer” and/or does that necessarily mean that there is a cause, within my control, for God’s lack of action? I would say, “no,” and “maybe.” Cause and effect is not always easy to see in our prayer life. When someone is sick, we pray for healing. Usually there are both righteous and unrighteous people praying for the healing. Sometimes there is healing, sometimes there is not. Is the lack of healing, unanswered prayer, or just an answer that we don’t like? Is the healing the result of more righteous people praying than unrighteous or because there was one super righteous person praying? Is there a cause and effect relationship between those who are healed and those who are not? When my sister died from cancer, is it because my family and friends didn’t pray right or because we were not holy enough? Did God not answer our prayers, or did he simply choose to give us an answer that we did not want or did not understand at the time? 

Certainly there is scripture that tells us that there are ways that we can enhance our odds of having our requests granted, but there is never a guarantee. Paul certainly wanted the “thorn in his flesh” removed (2 Corinthians 12:7-10), but God did not grant his request. Are we to conclude that Paul did not pray earnestly enough - after all, he only prayed three times? Or was there something else in Paul’s life that stood in the way of “answered prayer?” Clearly Paul did not view his situation as unanswered prayer. Instead he saw God’s answer as different from what he himself wanted, and, ultimately, he saw the answer as better, even though it caused him hardship. 

Even Jesus cried out to God to remove the burden of dying on the cross. He couldn’t have possibly believed that there was another way, but he prayed about it anyway, and followed with the acknowledgement that ultimately it was more important for God’s will to be done, even if it meant he had to do what he did not want to do. Was Jesus’ prayer answered? He certainly wasn’t delivered from dying on the cross, but to say his prayer wasn’t answered would be ludicrous. It would be even more ridiculous to conclude that there was something in Jesus’ life that prevented the prayer from being answered. 

Jesus’ prayer was not as much a request as it was a lament, a conversation with God communicating his distress. I am certain that Jesus already knew what the answer had to be, but he talked to his Father about it anyway, because that is much of what prayer is - real conversations about life.

Maybe our prayer lives would be better if we just did more of that - shared our lives with God, instead of always making so many requests of God. Maybe our prayer life would be better if we focussed as much on being who he wants us to be as we do on what we want him to give. When we do make requests, maybe we shouldn’t be so busy looking for the answers we want to see, but instead should spend more time looking for God at work in the answers that he gives. 

Blessings #257 to 283

Sometimes the best blessing is a change of heart!

257.  Students rising to the occasion and doing a great job packing food for Generation Alive.

258.  The willingness of Tim to spend his whole day at the middle school working alongside the students packing food.

259.  12,000 meals

260.  Learning from diving into an unknown project and looking forward to doing it better the second time around.

261.  Being able to give a great report to the Behavior teacher about one of his students.

262.  Difficult passages of scripture.

263.  Students responding, without hesitation, to a suggestion to show kindness to  another student being left out.

264.  Difficult conversation that lead to meaningful solutions.

265.  Colby teaching at Youth Group - seeing the evidence of deep thought and concern about his faith and the faith of those around him.

266.  A surprise birthday party thrown for Calli by her friends.

267.  A 16-year old daughter who can drive herself to take care of her horse!268.  All of the money needed for Colby’s internship at Niños de Mexico coming in before he ever started writing a support letter - and coming in from just one donor!

269.  Colby getting the call from Nancy Sachs from Ninos de Mexico to talk about raising support and Colby is able to say, “it is already done.” Her response - “that never happens! That is amazing.”

270.  Next year’s housing dilemma for Colby resolved by the generosity of his friends and their parents.

271.  My children having amazing friends

272.  Sandy and I having amazing friends

273.  Calli  choosing her Bibles study over getting her license

274.  The wisdom of our school vice-principal who shares my desire to leave teaching for the sake of some sort of mission work - “God is doing a work in you, Darrell, to prepare you for the time when it is right.” Thank you Laurie for that reminder!

275.  Hearing about young ladies on mission trips who came home terribly ill, and are still anxious to go back!

276.  Being asked to be a mentor

277.  Being asked to speak to youth about faith and scripture

278.  God changing my heart - where there was once frustration there is now hope that I can be used to help

279.  Testimonies from youth

280.  A day off, free from obligations, so I can just hang out with Sandy!

281.  Calli having her license so she can drive herself to take care of her horse and help Katie when she is sick

282.  Seeing former students, now in college, who don’t think I know who they are but I do. I love seeing former students in random places and I love it when they are willing to stop and talk, even if it is only for a moment.

283.  Lessons in patience - they are really hard to count as blessings now, but I know there will be a time when I will realize the benefits

Staying Behind (Blessing #256)

During Sunday morning worship, recently, as a preview to a song, we were challenged to think about going deeper in our faith - to step out into tumultuous water where we have no control and our faith will be challenged. So often we avoid those opportunities where we feel that there is no way we can control what happens or where we feel our own gifts and talents are inadequate to accomplish what needs to be done, but we so easily forget that those are the situations where God works best. 

“That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”  

   - 2 Corinthians 12:10

Inside I was laughing a little, thinking about how our perception of what is stormy water changes over time and how my current struggle is so opposite of what it was 6 years ago.

It was in 2008 that Sandy and I began the planning, in earnest, for our first trip to Niños de Mexico, an orphanage our church supports outside of Mexico City. Neither of us really knew what we were doing. We felt completely inadequate and had many moments of doubts, wondering what we had gotten ourselves into. We had no experience even being on a short-term mission trip, much less leading one, but we had jumped in with both feet and were learning to trust God in the process. I am still amazed at how God worked through that year, not despite our incompetence, but, maybe, more because of it. Often it felt like we had little control, but that was good!

I have now led two teams to Mexico and I find myself in the beginning stages of planning a third trip... but this one is different. I find myself in a completely different position than I was six years ago. I am no longer afraid of going or leading, I am eager to go and eager to lead the team. Planning the trip is no longer an unknown and it is no longer stressful. It no longer feels like I am incompetent, I feel like I have a handle on what needs to be done and how it should be done. To a certain extent I have gained control... and now I am giving it away.

This trip is different, because I am not going. It is different because Sandy and I are handing over the leadership to someone else - something that is so near and dear to our hearts, we are entrusting to someone else. This time we are helping prepare the team to go without us. This time we are helping to prepare someone else to lead in our absence. Where my fear was once in going, it is now in staying behind. Where my fear was once in leading, it is now in giving up my leadership. Before I felt compelled to go, but my fear kept pulling me to stay. I am still longing to go, but now my fear is in staying behind. 

It is an agonizing thing, but I am grateful for it. It is good to be able to look back and see ways that I have changed and grown. It is good to know that God is still at work in me, changing me and using me. It is a good reminder that I will never “arrive,” but that there will always be another lesson to learn and an opportunity to grow. It is also good to have a little mystery - I don’t know what this current condition will lead to during the next six years, but I hope and pray that the change in me will be as good, or better, than the change produce over the last six years!

Blessings #234 to 255

234.  Thoughtful responses to my blog posts

235.  Not-so-pleasant responses to my blog posts - they make me think carefully about what I say and if I am willing to endure the comments that might follow

236.  A half day to finish grades

237.  Conversation with Steve that is so good it almost makes me late for work

238.  Help with watering the horses when it is hard to get out to the barn

239.  Watching Calli play some winter soccer with the neighbor boys who asked her to be part of their team!

240.  Awesome neighbors who are just easy to be with - thanks Joe and Alissa!

241.  Walking the dog to Samantha and Micah’s - it is great having church family close by!

242.  Being able to help a friend when he is sick, by stepping into his shoes, even when it is last minute

243.  A gracious church family that doesn’t mind me listening to me ramble, as a last minute sermon fill in

244.  Talking to people about my sermon and hearing their perspective on what I said. It is always encouraging to know that God used me, somehow, to cause a person to think about some aspect of their own faith. I will never get tired of God using me in that way!

245.  Greeting Colby from the airport after his month-long trip to China

246.  Hearing that Colby really wants his sister at the airport and that Calli wants to change plans so she can be at the airport to see Colby. Knowing that your kids love each other and enjoy being with each other is the best gift a parent could have.

247.  Listening to Colby’s stories and the enthusiasm in his voice

248.  Having the ability to stay home from work with Calli when she is down and feeling sick

249.  Antibiotics

250.  Medical care, virtually on demand

251.  Calli’s perseverance in school, despite being sick all month, being able to finish final despite feeling sick and finishing with A’s. I am blessed to have kids who care about doing their best with integrity.

252.  Healthy disagreements that cause us to think, evaluate, process and sort out what we truly believe to be right and best. Even if the disagreements remain (without contentiousness), it is good to be forced to go through that process.

253.  Dinner delivered accompanied by good friends

254.  Piles of snow, even if it is coming almost two months late.

255.  A shoveled driveway that I didn’t have to do!

The Irony of Richard Sherman Exposing Our Own Hypocrisy

Even if you are not a football fan, there is a good chance you have heard about Richard Sherman and his interview/rant after beating the San Francisco 49‘ers and earning a spot in the Super Bowl. While I am not condoning Sherman’s actions at the end of the game or his amped up spiel afterwards, I did find the responses of others interesting afterwards, especially from Christians.

Without going into all the details (if you are interested, you’ve probably seen it already so you don’t need my explanation and if you don’t care about football, my explanation won’t matter), Sherman made the defensive play to end the game and give the Seahawks the victory, by batting a passed ball away from the receiver. After the game, the worst of what Sherman said was to shout that he was the best at his position and the receiver was mediocre at best. Adding to that, he said, that’s what you get when  you try to make a play in his direction with a lesser player. All that was said with a great deal of passion that some translated as angry.

People were quick to offer their opinions of the outburst. Within minutes, facebook and twitterdom were filled with responses. The ones I found most interesting, though, were those from Christians I know. Many called him classless, a thug, an embarrassment, and a variety of other things not so complimentary. Many dismissed him as just a typical “dumb, mouthy, jock” and mocked him for his behavior. There was much piety and a general sense being appalled that someone would carry on like that. Many were not at all shy about sharing their opinions of utter distaste for Sherman in a public forum...

Wait... All this fuss about Richard Sherman having the gall to sound off about the San Francisco players on a live public forum...

So, it is a terrible thing for Richard Sherman to go on a rant about another player and another team in a public forum, but it is perfectly fine for other folks (including Christians) to do the same to him... in a public forum and say things much worse than he ever said? How does that make sense? Is it okay for me to post comments insulting Richard Sherman for insulting someone else? How does that work? Is it okay for me to call him names to as many people as I am able without any consequence, but he should be condemned and punished for doing the same thing because... 

Go ahead and insert your own ending, because anything I try to put in there just looks stupid.

And we wonder why people are bothered by the hypocrisy of “Christians?”

Even more, the trashing of Richard Sherman was, for most people, based on a 30 second, emotional outburst and nothing else. Many skewering Sherman barely knew of Sherman before seeing him on the post game interview. Most have no idea that he grew up in Compton, Ca., a place as famous for gangs and drugs as it is for anything else. Most don’t know that Richard Sherman was the Salutatorian of his high school graduating class with a 4.2 GPA (how many spewing their vitriol even had a 3.2 GPA in high school). Or how about the fact that he graduated on time from Stanford and began his graduate degree there before starting pro football (how many of you could even get accepted at Stanford - and don’t say he got in just because of football: take a second look at his high school GPA)? I wonder if those same people know about Sherman’s charity work, about the influence he had on his high school teammates in challenging them to go to college or the ongoing visits and influence he has at his old high school making sure kids think about academics first?

I am not condoning Richard Sherman’s post game comments, but I have a great deal of respect for Richard Sherman because I took the time to find out more about him, rather than basing my opinion of him on a 30-second interview done during one of the most emotional moments of his life. Before blasting him and stereotyping him, I would encourage you to do the same. I would encourage you to do the same with anyone, rather than jumping to conclusions and announcing your ignorance in a public forum. If you are really interested, try this article from Sports Illustrated. 

Or how about this - what if the news broadcast all of your facebook posts one evening - would you be proud of all of them? What if they just publicized your worst comment, like, a hundred times one evening, so that people around the country could get to know you better based on that one comment? Would you think it was fair for people to call you names and make assumptions about your character? What if they put you down first, and told you that you were no good (at whatever you do), and then posted the comments for everyone to see? Do you think you might have a chip on your shoulder or be a little angry? Do you think, in the heat of an intense moment, after listening to someone talk trash to you, that you might respond differently than Richard Sherman? 

If you derided Sherman for his comments after Sunday’s game, I don’t think you would.

Blessings #210 to 233

210.  Seeing Calli care about school and doing her best even when she is not feeling well and taking the initiative on her own to do what she can to stay caught up

211.  Working with teachers who have a sense of humor - who can take a joke and dish it out

212.  Experiencing morning with Beka (our new 11 month old puppy) who sees every morning as the most exciting, invigorating time of the day - like she just can’t believe that she gets to have another day in our home!

213.  Hearing the excitement and gratitude in Laurie’s voice after getting back from two weeks in Rawanda and knowing that God used me to encourage her to go! It is always cool to see how God uses us as a piece to the puzzle when something amazing happens in another person’s life!

214.  The opportunity to preach 

215.  Wrestling with a sermon (wrestling with God) and learning in the process

216.  Jess’s video - almost made me cry right before I had to preach

217.  A successful first Ninos short-term mission team meeting and watching Nate and Claire take the lead

218.  Learning to let go, even when I don’t want to, but I know it is best

219.  Christian bosses - even if I don’t always agree with their educational philosophy or the way they want things done, I am blessed to have several Christian bosses who care about me and respect my faith

220.  Brianna’s initiative to raise support - it shows genuine excitement!

221.  Calli working on her support letter on day one!

222.  A new beginning for our small group

223.  A new job for Ericka - happy friends warm the heart

224.  Hearing from Colby from China, even if it is just a short Facebook message exchange

225.  Discovering someone has shut down all the computers for me in the computer lab

226.  Calli’s hard work after school paying off with an A in Spanish!

227.  Hearing from people that the paper of verses from my sermon were actually used during the week and that they were grateful for them

228.  Help from friends and knowing that they are glad to help - a truck from Steve and a strong back from Nate

229.  Parting with my drums, but knowing they will be well used

230.  Being the old couple in house full of 20 and 30-somethings - being welcome with those 20 to 30 years younger is wonderful!

231.  Leftover dessert from mom
232.  Progress on lingering projects that I keep putting off
233.  Thoughtful, intelligent comments on Facebook - it really can be used for more than drama and mindless drivel - thank you Buffy.

Learning From My Own Sermon (Blessing #209)

Every now and then our elders have a moment of weakness and allow me to preach on Sunday. It truly is an honor and I am always grateful for the opportunity, mostly because I always learn something in the process. This last Sunday was no different - actually I should say the weeks leading up to Sunday were no different.

For several months I had been wrestling with the whole idea of worship. I talked a little about some of those struggles in an earlier blog - Music is not a Synonym for Worship -but there was still much more to worship that was spinning around in my head. Much of my struggle centered on how quickly some people tend to turn worship on and off, or more to the point, how things around them seem to turn their worship on and off for them, as if they have no control over it. Of course most of this still centers around music, but it goes beyond that. I began asking (and am still asking) what does it mean to worship? If worship is more than music, what exactly is it? 

One of my conclusions was more about what it is not - it is not an emotion. The power of music in worship is that music evokes powerful emotions and I am seeing that those emotions are often confused with worship. The more emotional we are, the more meaningful and deeper we tend to believe our worship is. But that is exactly why worship can seem to come and go so quickly. When the emotion of the music or the passionate prayer or the enthusiastic sermon stops, our worship seems to stop, because we equate the emotional feeling to worship. 

But our misconceptions about worship are much like misconceptions about love. The world thinks that real love is all about feeling warm and fuzzy inside and the stronger the emotions that are produced, the stronger love must be. But Christians have, for quite sometime, recognized that as nonsense. Yet, we do not always recognize the same thing when it applies to worship. The very criticisms that we have about the world when it comes to love, could be applied to ourselves when we talk about worship. The same response applies to both as well - love and worship are not about emotions, they are about making a choice.

So how do I choose to worship? 

I didn’t find all the answers in preparing my sermon, but I did make some unexpected connections. Before I made those connections, though, it seems that God had something else in mind that he needed to teach me first...

During this whole process, much of what I was trying to learn was not so much a genuine thirst for learning about worship, it was a hunger for finding the right passages and the right words so I could really deliver a convicting message to those that I really thought needed to hear words of wisdom (my words of wisdom) about worship. See, if I am totally honest, much of my struggle was not so much my own struggle with worship, as it was my perception that so many other people didn’t understand worship correctly. When I started writing my sermon, my motivation wasn’t to glorify God (hey, that sounds like worship), but rather point out the erroneous actions of “those other Christians.” 

Three weeks out from when I was scheduled to preach, I was thinking about all of this worship stuff. I had a general idea in mind of the shape the sermon should take and I had a vision for what I wanted to accomplish, but the words just refused to form themselves on paper (actually the computer screen, but words on paper sounds so much better). I didn’t worry too much about it, though, because I still had plenty of time (I write better with a more eminent deadline). But three weeks turned into two, and two into one and soon I wasn’t talking about weeks anymore, I was talking about days. Thursday evening before my sermon I had some things written, but it might as well have been a blank page, because nothing sounded right. I simply could not find the sentences that would convict the hearts of those other people that needed to hear this message. I went to bed feeling a bit panicked, but continued to pray that God would give me words - not my words, but his words - only this time I actually meant it.

At work on Friday I thought about my sermon (it is a good thing I have a day job, because I couldn’t go through this every week) and the more I thought about it the more I prayed that God’s words would somehow come out of my mess of thoughts. Friday evening I started over. This time I started writing what I was learning and about where I had been learning it. I started trying to put pieces together that led me to the point I am right now - the pieces that have led me to what I believe about worship today. Through the process I stopped worrying about who I was trying to preach to and instead I tried to reconstruct the fragmented parts from the last months and even years that had led me to think differently about worship. When I started doing that, an amazing thing happened. A sermon started showing itself on the blank page, only the sermon wasn’t directed so much at everyone else, like I originally intended, it was directed at me - a reminder of what I had come to believe and why. 

Funny how that works...

As an added bonus, I saw a connection that I hadn’t really made before. I mean, I knew about it, but sometimes knowing about something and actually understanding the connection are two totally different things. In this case I saw the connection between obedience and worship like I had not understood before and it took shape in the midst of my writing. It was like I knew it all along, but I just hadn’t connected all the dots until I started writing it. It was weird and really cool at the same time.

By noon on Saturday I felt I had a sermon. It wasn’t what I expected, it was better. I say that cautiously. I say it was better not because of my ability - it was better because I finally listened and let God work through my fingers on the keyboard. I stopped trying to impose my will on the words and instead let the words speak for themselves. I know I didn’t remove all of me from the sermon and it seems pious to think that my sermon was specially ordained from God, but I know there was much less of me and more of Him on Friday night and Saturday morning then there was the three weeks before. 

So, I know I took a big u-turn right when I asked the question, “How do I choose to worship.” But the detour is part of the answer, at least the part of the answer I learned while writing the sermon. 

I choose to worship by choosing to be obedient. 

I know, you’re saying, “that’s it?”

Ya, that’s it. Nothing magical, nothing incredibly profound, just obedience. To obey is greater than sacrifice. Sacrifice was a form of worship. But obedience is a greater form of worship - maybe the greatest form of worship. 

And that became my sermon. A long convoluted path of ignoring God first, before discovering a simple truth, then finding unexpected freedom and relief in simple obedience. Something so simple and yet so difficult - so obvious that it was hard to see, especially since it applied to me as much as everyone else. 

I know, it seems like it should be a shorter story, doesn’t it? 

If you are interested in how it all turned out, you can listen to Obedience as an Act of Wroship.

Blessings #195 to 208

195.  A new year - a reminder to reflect, learn and look ahead.

196.  After missing two weeks, being back with my church family.

197.  Breakfast with Steve

198.  Preparing for Niños short term missions team meetings, looking forward to working with a great group of people and anticipating great things that God will do.

199.  The Niños short term mission planning as a great excuse to spend time with Nate & Claire.

200.  Being able to talk through awkward situations with friends without fear of damaging the friendship

201.  Watching Beka follow Calli everywhere

202.  The wonders of modern technology that allow me to “chat” with my son while he is touring China

203.  Knowing that Colby is having an incredible experience seeing wonders that many of us will never see

204.  A wasted Algebra class (as far as curriculum content) because of a good discussion about education, the students’ future and miscellaneous aspects of life.

205.  Still being excited about planning the annual 8th Grade Seattle Trip - it is a good feeling to do this willingly with enthusiasm and I am thankful that God is still stirring that excitement in me for the trip.

206.  Watching the details for the Seattle trip start to fall in place, in large part due to great co-workers who are as enthusiastic about the trip as I am!

207.  Hearing from parents of past students that tell me that the 8th Grade Seattle trip was their best memory from Middle School and maybe from all of school!

208.  Watching a group of girls welcome a new student and including her immediately in what they are doing - it is incredibly encouraging to see such kindness from middle school kids